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Frank West Vs. Paul Blart
Frank West Vs. Paul Blart is Episode 33 of Desert Croc's One Minute Melees. The episode features Frank West from the Deadrising series and Paul Blart from the movie Paul Bart: Mall Cop. Description When a certain photographer is causing havoc in a mall, it's up to one man to defend it! Will Frank West take out Paul Blart and continue wrecking the mall, or will the cop subdue the criminal and save the day? Interlude ONE MINUTE MELEE! WHERE ALL OF THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS! 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! MELEE!!! Fight Willamette Parkview Mall The Mall was overrun by zombies and the photographer Frank West was doing his best to survive. He was searching for a place to take refuge in, when he was attacked by a zombie that grabbed him by the shoulders. "Goddammit, get off me!" Frank kicked the zombie away from him. He then equipped an axe he found a while ago, swung it and split the head of the undead ghoul open. It fell to the floor. "Well, that takes care of that." Meanwhile, Paul Blart had just finished going to the toilet and was completely unaware that a zombie apocalypse was happening in the mall. He was about to continue his patrol when he witnessed Frank killing the zombie, which he mistook for an innocent person. "You! Stop right there!" He yelled. Frank sighed, "What now?" "I'm placing you under arrest for murder!" Blart continued. "What!" Frank replied, "I don't think you understand buddy, but that was a zombie that I just killed!" "I can see through all lies. You are a very bad liar! I will not let a criminal like you loose in this mall and kill more innocent people! It is my job to keep the peace!" Frank slapped his forehead. "Why does every person here want to kill me?" PRICES AREN'T THE ONLY THINGS THAT WILL BE CUT! FIGHT! Frank decided to go easy on Blart since he was not a psychopath and stuck to using his fists. He entered a fighting stance, preparing for Blart to start attacking him. Blart began by charging at Frank with his arms open, taking Frank by surprise. Blart grabbed him around the waist and the two entered a struggle. Frank was trying to get Blart off of him, who was punching him. "Let go of me!" Frank said as he pushed Blart away from him. He then kicked Blart, causing him to fall clumsily to the floor. "I don't have time to waste on you!" Frank yelled as he ran away. He took a corner and hoped he had lost Blart. "You won't escape me!" Blart emerged from around the corner on his Segway in pursuit of Frank. Frank ran, trying to get away from Blart, who caught up to him and barged into him. Frank tumbled across the ground. He then slowly got up. He had to get Blart off the Segway, and it didn't take long for him to come up with an idea. Blart was coming back on his Segway, attempting to crash into Frank. "Smile!" "Huh?" Frank took a photo with his flash turned on. Blart was blinded by the light and fell of the Segway, which broke as it hit a wall. Frank walked over to Blart and equipped his baseball bat. "Don't worry" Frank said to him, "You'll be a star when I get your photo in the papers!" Frank began whacking Blart with the baseball bat. Blart was doing his best to avoid taking damage by waving his hands out in front. Frank ended the combo by swinging his bat really hard. The impact sent Blart sliding across the floor. Blart decided not to hold back any longer. "I will not let you win!" Blart got up and shot Frank with his taser. Frank was stunned and collapsed to his feet. "Hah!" Blart laughed as he kicked Frank in the head. "Not so tough now are you?" Frank fell to the floor but he was not finished. He jumped up a slammed a servbot helmet on Blart's head. "What's going on? I can't see?" As Blart was blinded, Frank grabbed him by he feet. He then swung him around and threw him across the mall. Blart crashed into a video game store. Frank ran to his location. "That wasn't so bad, I suppose." Frank said to himself, "I still need to keep him alive. The zombies have already taken enough lives as it is." Suddenly, Blart jumped out of the store carrying a guitar from Guitar Hero. "I'm not the useless fat cop you think I am!" He jabbed Frank with the guitar who stumbled back. Blart then smacked Frank over and over with the guitar. His final attack hit Frank across the face and broke the guitar, knocking Frank unconscious. K.O.! "Hah!" Blart mocked, "No criminal can escape when I'm on patrol!" He turned around and noticed what appeared to be a badly injured person staggering towards him. "Excuse me sir," Blart said to him, "You appear to be injured a lot! Did that horrible man do something to you? The man groaned. "I see," Blart muttered, "You are too sick to answer my qu... wait, what are you doing?" The man grabbed Blart and tried to bite him. "Hey! What are you doing? I'm a police officer! I'm warning you! Stop it! Someone help me! The man was about to bite Blart when his head was smashed in. Blart looked up to see Frank with a bloody sledgehammer. "I know he was trying to kill me but you didn't have to go that far!" "Shut up fatty! I can't believe you don't know a zombie when you see one!" "Wait.. zombie?" "Yes! They're all over this mall and we're dead if we stay here!" It was then Blart noticed the zombies surrounding him and frank. They were slowly closing in on hem both. "What do we do?" "Why are you asking me? Isn't it obvious? Find a weapon to protect yourself with! Then we'll search for more survivors and find a place where these things can't get us!" Blart saw the baseball bat that Frank dropped when he tasered him. He picked it up. "No zombie messes with my mall!" Results (Cue theme) Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Movie vs Video Game themed One Minute Melee Category:Joke One Minute Melees Category:Joke vs Non-Joke themed One Minute Melees Category:Desert Croc Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees